Unit Three 写作.ppt

Unit Three The Better WordUnit Objectives At the end of this unit you will be able to 1.know how to choose better words,i.e.,words that concise,precise,and effective;2.know how to use modifiers correctly;and 3.write simple notice Introduction A correct word is not necessarily a good one.To choose a better word for expression is an incessant pursuit for many writers and English language learners as well,though it is rather challenging to the latter.By a better word,we mean a word that is concise,precise and effective.Conciseness is one of the characteristics of written language and students should form the habit of expressing their ideas clearly and in a simple way.Precision refers to the concreteness of expression and is another feature of good writing.As for effectiveness,it is based on the two preceding characteristics and is the highest aim of language use.Modifiers are a crucial sentence component and there are some pitfalls associated with the use of modifiers that should be guarded against.This unit focuses on the correct use of modifiers,mainly adjectives and adverbs.Part I Warm up Activities It was a splendid population-for all the slow,sleepy,sluggish-brained sloths stayed at home.(Pay attention to the figure of speech of Alliteration:原文作者一连用了5个头韵词与前面的splendid形成呼应，词义色彩则恰好相反，造成了强烈的诙谐和幽默效果。)The good ones:1.这是一批卓越能干的人民-因为所有那些行动迟缓、瞌睡稀稀、呆如树懒的人都留在家乡了。2.这是一群卓越能干的人民-因为所有那些行动迟缓、头脑愚钝、睡眼惺忪、呆如树懒的人都呆在了家乡了。3.那是一批卓越的人-因为那些慢慢吞吞、昏昏沉沉、反应迟钝、形如树懒的人都留在了家乡。The better or best one:1.(出来的)这帮人个个出类拔萃-因为凡是呆板、呆滞、呆头呆脑的呆子都呆在了家里。Part II Focus Conciseness(Be aware that Conciseness is the basis of writing in English and learn to avoid unnecessary words or phrases.)Suggested answers:a.Redundancy(冗余)may result when modifiers are used that does not add to the meaning of the sentence.Poor:We really need to listen to what he would say.We really need to listen to what he would say.Better:We need to listen to what he would say.We need to listen to what he would say.More examples:Poor:I was simply too tired to clean the house after I was simply too tired to clean the house after working for a whole day.working for a whole day.Better:I was too tired to clean the houseI was too tired to clean the house after working after working for a whole day.for a whole day.b.Redundancy may occur from redundant phrasing(i.e.,spelling out the meaning of a word or phrase that can and should stand alone.)Poor:The criticisms I will make are major ones The criticisms I will make are major ones which ought to be given careful consideration which ought to be given careful consideration because of their importance.because of their importance.Better:The criticisms I will make are major ones.The criticisms I will make are major ones.More examples:More examples:Poor:Poor:Over the years,she became suspicious Over the years,she became suspicious that she was being exploited by people.that she was being exploited by people.Better:Better:Over the years,she became suspicious Over the years,she became suspicious that she was being exploited.c.Redundancy may result if the writer fails to use pronoun in reference to previous noun phrases.Poor:The volunteers in the fire department deserve a lot of credit.The volunteer firemen answer alarms any time in all kinds of weather.Better:The volunteer firemen deserve a lot of credit because they answer alarms any time in all kinds of weather.More examples:Poor:In large cities school teachers are usually paid higher wages than the teachers of a school in a small town.Better:In large cities school teachers are usually paid higher wages than those in a small town.d.Redundancy may occur when words or phrases are awkwardly inserted rather than implied.Poor:One of the most difficult decisions I have ever made in my life was whether I should go to university after finishing high school should go to university after finishing high school or not to go to college after high school.or not to go to college after high school.Better:One of the most difficult decisions I have Better:One of the most difficult decisions I have made was whether or not to go to college after made was whether or not to go to college after high school.high school.More examples:More examples:Poor:Poor:FudanFudan University is a very good university University is a very good university because of many distinguished professors because of many distinguished professors teaching there.teaching there.Better:Better:FudanFudan University is a good university University is a good university because of its distinguished faculty.because of its distinguished faculty.e.Redundancy may result when related ideas are stated in more than one sentence.To solve this problem,it is often advisable to combine these sentences into one.Poor:People who both work full time and go to school have a lot of problems.These people dont have time for recreation.Often they live under more pressure.Better:People who work full time and go to school usually live under more pressure because they dont have much time for recreation.More examples:Poor:In a small town there are very few businesses.And the businesses that are there are usually operated on a small scale.Better:In a small town there are very few businesses,which are usually operated on a small scale.Poor:I got up at six.Then I had breakfast.Around seven I left for school.Better:Getting up at six,I had breakfast and left for school around seven.Reference for classroom activities:Reference for classroom activities:1.All these phrases are redundant in the written 1.All these phrases are redundant in the written context.context.2.a.2.a.XianmingXianming High School has a faculty that do High School has a faculty that do their jobs well.their jobs well.b.One of the requirements is a term paper of b.One of the requirements is a term paper of three thousand words on a subject of your choice.three thousand words on a subject of your choice.c.College is difficult to adjust to because you are c.College is difficult to adjust to because you are left on your own to solve many problems.left on your own to solve many problems.d.A career in the Army has both advantages and d.A career in the Army has both advantages and disadvantages.So does the return to the civilian disadvantages.So does the return to the civilian life from the military.life from the military.e.Teenage pregnancy has a lot of controversy.Preciseness To be precise is another requirement for good writing.Two points:to use concrete details,and to look for specific words.For the former,to form a habit of thinking concretely even at the initial stage of writing.For the later,to learn how to use them alongside the expansion of their vocabulary.Reference for classroom activities:Reference for classroom activities:1.Words Words like awful,bad,fine,funny,great,lovely,like awful,bad,fine,funny,great,lovely,nice,pretty,thing,nice,pretty,thing,andand wonderful wonderful,are classified,are classified as weak because they are too general and as weak because they are too general and hardly add anything to the meaning.hardly add anything to the meaning.a.Kate said she had a Kate said she had a boringboring time at the time at the homecoming party.homecoming party.b.I think I think MrMr Brown is an Brown is an unconvincing unconvincing speaker.speaker.c.The husband gave the wife a The husband gave the wife a diamonddiamond necklace necklace for her birthday.for her birthday.d.There are certain There are certain traits traits I look for in judging a I look for in judging a persons character.persons character.Effectiveness Effectiveness Words,when used effectively,add power to Words,when used effectively,add power to meaning.However,being able to select meaning.However,being able to select effective words is not easy and it needs study effective words is not easy and it needs study and practice.and practice.Reference:Reference:1.a.Jos mouth decided a.Jos mouth decided her nose comical her nose comical her eyes sharp,gray,fierce,funny,her eyes sharp,gray,fierce,funny,thoughtful thoughtful her hair long,thick her hair long,thick her shoulders round her shoulders round her hands and feet big her hands and feet big Notice that none of these Adjs.are long or complicated,yet they are most effective and vivid.This shows that the power of writing does not lie in flowery words but in the use of the most appropriate words.b.Awkward colt is repetitious as the word colt carries the sense of awkwardness already.Therefore,it is unnecessary to use a modifier here.Part III Grammar Part III Grammar Modifiers Modifiers-inging and and eded forms of verbs forms of verbs Reference for classroom activities:Reference for classroom activities:a.That woman a.That woman who is laughingwho is laughing is my mother.is my mother.b.Finally,they found the treasure that had been b.Finally,they found the treasure that had been hidden.hidden.c.This is the place that is most frequently c.This is the place that is most frequently reported in the press.reported in the press.d.The boy who was enchanted stared at the d.The boy who was enchanted stared at the screen,mouth wide open.screen,mouth wide open.Summary:1.The ing form of a verb is used when the action described by the verb continues to happen or when the relationship between the modified and the verb is active.2.The ed form of a verb is used when the action is completed at the time another action occurs or when the relationship between the modified and the verb is passive.Nouns Reference:a.development of career education b.readjustment of the flight timetable c.money problems of high-school art educationd.country for family vacation e.the study of the growth of childhood personality Summary:Nouns can be put ahead of another nouns as its modifiers in English;but too many nouns clustered can cause ambiguity and misunderstanding.Very often the maximum of the number of nouns as modifiers is two,though sometimes this number may be exceeded.So the guiding principle for noun modifiers is that they shouldnt pose too much difficulty to the readers comprehension.Adverb Reference:a.drive breezily(modifying the verb)b.Strangely beautiful(modifying the adjective)c.too slowly(modifying the adverb)d.Firstly,lets listen to Dr.Smiths report on his latest research.(modifying the whole sentence)Summary:Summary:An adverb can modify a verb,an adjective,An adverb can modify a verb,an adjective,another adverb,or even a whole sentence.It another adverb,or even a whole sentence.It usually appears after the verb it modifies but usually appears after the verb it modifies but before the adjective or the adverb.If it modifies before the adjective or the adverb.If it modifies the whole sentence,it can appear either at the the whole sentence,it can appear either at the beginning or at the end.beginning or at the end.Problems with modifiers Problems with modifiers Reference:Reference:1.the problem with these phrases is the 1.the problem with these phrases is the redundancy of modifiers.The modifiers are redundancy of modifiers.The modifiers are useless for they do nothing but repeat what the useless for they do nothing but repeat what the following nouns say.Useless modifiers can make following nouns say.Useless modifiers can make your writing repetitious and wordy.your writing repetitious and wordy.2.a.The notice said nothing else.2.a.The notice said nothing else.b.People other than visitors were not b.People other than visitors were not invited to see the exhibits.invited to see the exhibits.c.The visitors were invited to do nothing c.The visitors were invited to do nothing but see the exhibits on the third floor.but see the exhibits on the third floor.d.There might be exhibits on other floors d.There might be exhibits on other floors but the visitors were invited to see those but the visitors were invited to see those on the third floor.on the third floor.Summary:Summary:1.1.One problem is about useless modifiers.A useless One problem is about useless modifiers.A useless modifier adds nothing to the meaning of the modified but modifier adds nothing to the meaning of the modified but redundancy.redundancy.2.2.Another problem is concerned with misplaced modifiers.Another problem is concerned with misplaced modifiers.Clear writing demands that modifiers can be put as Clear writing demands that modifiers can be put as close as possible to the word or phrase being modified.close as possible to the word or phrase being modified.Part IV Writing Notice(I)Above all,a notice should provide key information to the reader.Suggested answer:The notices are concise,including only the essential information.They are all written in the form of notes.Part V Follow-up exercises Part V Follow-up exercises 1.a.When I was assigned a certain task,I1.a.When I was assigned a certain task,I did it to my best ability.did it to my best ability.b.Fog can cause blindness.b.Fog can cause blindness.c.Recently I joined a social club which c.Recently I joined a social club which raises money for the care of needy raises money for the care of needy children,and we meet every children,and we meet every Wednesday afternoon.Wednesday afternoon.d.An essay should be understandable d.An essay should be understandable to the reader.to the reader.e.Many items are expensive at the discount e.Many items are expensive at the discount stores.stores.f.Bears that have just come out of hibernation are f.Bears that have just come out of hibernation are usually hungry and dangerous.usually hungry and dangerous.g.The author should have shortened the story by g.The author should have shortened the story by half.half.h.The citys environmental surroundings are not the h.The citys environmental surroundings are not the most comfortable.most comfortable.i.I learned certain facts that I believe are vital to I learned certain facts that I believe are vital to every freshman.every freshman.2.a.simmer:cook food gently at or just below 2.a.simmer:cook food gently at or just below boiling point boiling point sautesaute:fry quickly in little hot fat:fry quickly in little hot fat bake:cook by using direct heat in an oven bake:cook by using direct heat in an oven b.Other verbs about cooking include b.Other verbs about cooking include roast,steam,roast,steam,braise,fry,deep-fry,boil,poach,scramble,grill,braise,fry,deep-fry,boil,poach,scramble,grill,stew,curry,baste,barbecuestew,curry,baste,barbecue3.a.3.a.For dinner we had barbecued steaks For dinner we had barbecued steaks and sweet corn.and sweet corn.b.Last week my brother John joined an b.Last week my brother John joined an insurance company.insurance company.c.He is not a friendly and easy-going c.He is not a friendly and easy-going colleague.colleague.d.Our view of the sea at sunset was d.Our view of the sea at sunset was splendid/breathtaking.splendid/breathtaking.e.It was a fine day to play outdoors.e.It was a fine day to play outdoors.f.What impressed me most about the city was f.What impressed me most about the city was the hustle and bu